selling art

i'm picking it up

So my day job has changed... for the worse. I got strong armed by my company into managing a new security account and its quite demanding and just takes all the steam out of me. I haven't made a single new piece of art since starting this new position and that bums me out a lot. 

I know that your "day job" is supposed to be #1 priority but I just can't, I've been trying to be okay with just being my day job since graduating college. I know you are supposed to make a career of your day job and work yourself up but something is literally wrong in my brain and I CANNOT. I don't have it in me, I can't kill off the want/need of having art being my profession.  At my day job my brain is just on a loop of "screw this, this is so stupid, this is ridiculous" and I can already hear some of you saying "oh well just go in with a positive attitude instead of being so negative" well guess what Sally, work sucks all the positive attitude out of me and just chews it up and spits in on the floor. 

I feel like I can't keep wasting positive energy on work, it needs to go toward my art. I have tried to work on art after getting home from work but after the day sucking the life-force out of me I am running on just fumes, and just fumes does not good art make. I need a holiday from work, a very long holiday, and I don't expect I shall return, in fact I mean not to.

I understand it is the world we live in but how is everyone just okay with having 5 soul crushing days and then 2 days recharging where you barely get to do anything else other than chores at home and recharge and finally start to feel like a person again and then its 8pm Sunday night and you are back to square 1. Its messed up. There's nothing I can do to change it which is the worst thing.

I feel like I am trying quite hard to make the transition into full-time artist but still feel years away if not impossible to reach. I know you are not supposed to talk about sales and how you are fairing but I've been doing what your supposed to do and that really hasn't helped me so why not just do what I want to do. Anyways, sales, this year I have sunk in quite a lot of money into booth fees and gallery fees to have my work out in the world to hopefully get some momentum going forward and have seen no return on investment yet. That is a really hard pill to swallow. You often hear people say "the best investment is in yourself" well I have invested a whole lot of time and money into getting my artwork out there and right now its looking like I invested poorly and it's, I'll be honest, heartbreaking.

It feels like the universe keeps screaming at me NO, and I still don't want to listen. Maybe I am looking for too quick of results? I don't know. I still can't shake the goal of doing art full-time. Making art still feels like my purpose, and any day job I've ever held feels like the opposite. I couldn't care less about any but most of all my current day job. It HAS to be just what I am doing for now to get by, it  will never be who I am, I can say that with the most certainty of anything I've ever said. Stupid America with its job focused identities.

Do I wish I could just make art and not have to sell it to be able to live OMG YES. But that's not the world we live in unfortunately. So I just gotta keep trying to learn how to market and sell I guess which are my LEAST favorite things and I hate that its part of an art career because its the least artistic thing I can think of. 

Ok super long blog just complaining about life hahahaha sorry!

i can has artz?

I think my first post on my website was exactly a year ago. So I've been arting it up for a year officially. Real talk, I am feeling kinda like a bummer. 

I feel like all I do is bitch and moan on this blog "I wish I had more time for art" "I wish my job was art" "the art community is so up its ass" "how do I find an audience?" and its all sour grapes. I acknowledge this. I am complaining about things I can't change which is just... useless.

But its also frustrating because I legit feel these are the things holding me back. I know I have a chip on my shoulder, I just don't know what to do about it. I want to be positive but honestly it is hard when it comes to getting my work out there. It feels like beyond just the standard hurdles of creating an audience and finding your nische, there have been additional intentional hurdles placed [mostly financial] to weed out up and coming artists of a certain economic background. 

Its hard not to take it personally. I for the life of me do not know how artists who don't come from money start from the bottom up. It feels as if things are set up to help established artists further establish themselves. I don't know what the stepping stone is between no audience/no establishment/no expendable cash to having a client base large enough to be able to afford to appear in art fairs, and it bums me out.

OK, venting complete, I feel better.

So positive stuff. I am so into drawing currently. It makes me happy and I am more apt to work on an illustration after work because its 1000% less set up, I can just dive in. I know a lot of my illustrations are made pretty much just for me, like beyond me there is probably no market for them but I'm not mad about that because I just like making them so much. 

like how gorgeous is this, I am in love

like how gorgeous is this, I am in love

I figured if I am doing American landscapes, I should include some native american women, this is based off a photo of a shoshone woman

I figured if I am doing American landscapes, I should include some native american women, this is based off a photo of a shoshone woman

my beautiful Celeste in that moment you felt her heart sink into her stomach, I try not to post the fan art I make onto my professional site but she was toooo pretty, big little lies so good

my beautiful Celeste in that moment you felt her heart sink into her stomach, I try not to post the fan art I make onto my professional site but she was toooo pretty, big little lies so good

I love them. I love my women. I could draw them forever. I have collected a bunch of reference photos and want to branch out in body types and races and what not. Mix it up more. 

I am also still working on landscapes and wildlife because I love them too. I love mountains and animals so much I can't even. 

so far improved from my zion painting from this time last year, so thats a plus

so far improved from my zion painting from this time last year, so thats a plus

some dog portraits I did for a friend's sister, the dog on the right was challenging with such short fur and all one tone but I am happy with how they came out

some dog portraits I did for a friend's sister, the dog on the right was challenging with such short fur and all one tone but I am happy with how they came out

Sometimes I feel as far as art that all my positivity goes into the artwork and all I have left is sour grapes to promote the work. When I think about drawing or painting my work I feel calm, happy, peaceful, when you ask me about selling/marketing my reaction is blechhhh and anxiety. 

So despite all my bitching I did enter in a couple of art shows, and god if they read this blog I am sure my applications will end up in the bin but hey I am being honest. I am not about to drink the koolaid. I need to get out there and meet my market/create a market and I need to learn how to not be such a bummer about promoting my artwork.  

oops its feb

Long time no writey. Well I decided this year I want to make a lot more art, and considering its only February I think I have a considerable amount of new artwork made in the last month. 

I've started making some mixed media illustration drawings of naturescapes and faces of women. I am super into it and I know it is totally artwork just for me and no one else probably is even into it but I am loving them and they are so fun to make. I missed drawing people, I have shyed away from it because I also really want to capture nature in my art. So I guess this my atempt of satsifying both desires for my artwork?

fishy is my favey

fishy is my favey

The bottom right drawing was my first, and it turned out a little more "cartoony" looking just because I am getting back into the swing of things drawing people, and even my more realistic portraits still look a little disney, I just don't like hyper-realism I like a little bit of stylistic type look to my stuff. 

This fish is so dope, it looks like a sticker and I am loving it. I for sure want to do a million more woman and fish paintings. Maybe I will do a series of endangered or threatened fish species. This one is a cut-throat trout currently endangered and numbers dwindling fast from Lake Yellowstone; shout out to my cut-throat buds stay strong my friends! 

I think I am going to do at least 2 more of these based on Yellowstone flora and fauna, but I want to do other parks too. I think it would be cool to do this as an illustration series of different national parks. National parks and art are my 2 passions , as you've probably gathered by glancing at my portfolio, so it only makes sense to mush them together.

I have also started trying to sketch daily. I get in at least 1 a day usually. Here are the greatest hits so far. 

dying to do some Finnish goddess stuff too, but again nische market if there ever was one

dying to do some Finnish goddess stuff too, but again nische market if there ever was one

I am super into my animals, they look so cute and disney cartoony. I used to think realism is the goal but now that I have my fundamentals down I am leaning more stylized. Which I am ok with because I love how it looks, whether or not other do or will is another question entirely.

I LOVE the bison. I could draw bison and pretty woman all day long I tell ya. Bison have somehow become my sigil I should really work on making them my logo and ensignia.

I have also experimented in palette knife painting. It is hard. I want to keep practicing but omg it is for the very light of hand, and I am of the heavy handed variety.  

pinky mountains are purrty

pinky mountains are purrty

I want to do some mountain paintings with oversaturated "alpenglow" the pinky snow at sunset, I am obsessed with how it looks and want to do a high contrast pumped up color redention of it. I am working with mediums in my acrylic now to get a thicker consistency to try to paint these mountains with a palette knife; so it is a lot of new stuff at once. 

LOVE the island on this one

LOVE the island on this one

On this one the mountains got a little more pink than I would have liked but again finding the slight of hand balance is hella hard. I love the water and island in this one, but water and silhouetted trees I could paint with my eyes shut, its one of my favorite things to paint. I also really love the cloud, its so fluffy and soft. I think this one is better than my first try but I chose slightly the wrong color for the sky and mountain. I want to play with new colors on scenes but still am finding my color scheme it seems. I'll get there. 

So in conclusion... I'll keep making more stuff I guess. Still haven't figured out how to get it out into the world... idk Ebay? We'll see. 

on the road again

I am an inspiration/reference material hoarder. There, I said it. I must have a million things I want to make paintings about, yet I still wanna get more ideas. I need to work on the follow through on getting more paintings cranked out. I think that November and Decemeber I am going to have to take a lot of 'me' weekends and get stufft doned.

Next Saturday is my second craft/artisten show atempting to sell my wares. I hope it goes well, I have my hopes up, but not my expectations?? If that is possible. 

I feel stuck between the 2 factions of art. I am not the gallery type, and I am not lowest common denomiator type either. I need to find my niche market, I feel like it is out there I just haven't found a way to connect with them. 

I have at least 2 commisioned paintings on deck for the holiday season, which is good. I mean thats 2 more than any other year. I think honestly I need to make more new stuff. Perhaps that shall be my Thanksgiving goal, paint something everyday during the 4 day break. Less the day of the craft show.

I am kinda pumped to set up my booth again, I feel like it looks hella awesome.

a little crowded but idk I like it

a little crowded but idk I like it

and of course my fly ass vintage table cloth

and of course my fly ass vintage table cloth